使徒之首，加利利渔夫，耶稣基督亲自呼召的第一批门徒
Chief of the Apostles, fisherman from Galilee, among the first called by Jesus Christ
那一夜，鸡叫了两遍
The Night the Rooster Crowed Twice
2026-02-14
“主转过身来看彼得，彼得便想起主对他所说的话："今日鸡叫以先，你要三次不认我。"他就出去痛哭。”
“And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, "Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times." And he went out and wept bitterly.”
中文
主啊，众人虽然跌倒，我总不能
那天晚上的逾越节晚餐，我说了一句让自己后悔一辈子的话。
"主阿，众人虽然为你的缘故跌倒，我却永不跌倒。"（太 26:33）
我说这话的时候是真心的。我跟随祂三年，看过祂平静风浪，看过祂叫拉撒路从坟墓里出来。我在变像山上见过祂的荣光。我是第一个认出祂是基督、永生神儿子的人（太 16:16）。我以为我比别人更刚强，比别人更忠心。
耶稣看着我说："今夜鸡叫两遍以先，你要三次不认我。"
我更加极力地说："我就是必须和你同死，也总不能不认你。"（可 14:31）
弟兄姐妹，当一个人最确信自己不会跌倒的时候，他离跌倒最近。
客西马尼的困倦
耶稣带着我、雅各和约翰进了客西马尼园。祂说："我心里甚是忧伤，几乎要死。"
祂只求我们一件事：和祂一起警醒祷告。
我做不到。
三次，祂回来发现我们睡着了。三次。那个说"我愿与你同死"的人，连一个小时的祷告都撑不住。
"西门，你睡觉吗？不能儆醒片时吗？总要儆醒祷告，免得入了迷惑。你们心灵固然愿意，肉体却软弱了。"（可 14:37-38）
心灵固然愿意，肉体却软弱了，这是对我一生最准确的描述。
院子里的炭火
他们把耶稣抓走了。我远远地跟着，进了大祭司的院子。
院子中间有一堆炭火。我挤过去烤火，以为自己可以混在人群里不被发现。
第一次，一个使女看着我说："你素来也是同那加利利人耶稣一伙的。"
我不知道你说的是什么。
第二次，又有一个使女认出我："这个人也是同拿撒勒人耶稣一伙的。"
我不认得那个人。
第三次，旁边的人说："你的口音把你露出来了，你真是他们一党的。"
我不认得那个人！ 我甚至起了咒发了誓。
弟兄姐妹，你们听到了吗？我起誓咒诅自己，说我不认得祂，那个在加利利海边呼召我的主，那个拉着我的手叫我在水面上行走的主，那个对我说"你是彼得，我要把我的教会建造在这磐石上"的主。
鸡叫了
就在那一刻，鸡叫了。
同一瞬间，主转过身来，看了我一眼。
那个眼神。
不是"我早就告诉过你了"的眼神。不是失望。不是愤怒。
是一种深深的、安静的、忧伤的爱。好像在说："彼得，我知道。但我仍然爱你。我早就为你祷告了。"
因为祂在晚餐时对我说过："西门，西门，撒但想要得着你们，好筛你们像筛麦子一样。但我已经为你祈求，叫你不至于失了信心。你回头以后，要坚固你的弟兄。"（路 22:31-32）
祂没有说"如果你回头"，祂说的是"你回头以后"。
祂在我跌倒之前就已经为我的恢复祷告了。
我出去，痛哭。
提比哩亚海边
祂复活之后，我不知道该怎么面对祂。我做了唯一会做的事，回去打鱼。
那天晚上，我们整夜什么也没打着。天快亮的时候，岸上站着一个人，喊："小子们，你们有吃的没有？"我们说没有。祂说："把网撒在船的右边。"我们照做了，鱼多得网都拉不上来。
约翰先认出祂："是主！"
我一听到这句话，就束上外衣，跳进海里，游向岸边。弟兄姐妹，你们听到了吗，我没有逃走，我向祂游过去了。 我不知道祂要对我说什么，我不知道等待我的是斥责还是赦免，但我无法不奔向祂。这就是爱，哪怕你满身羞耻，你还是忍不住要到祂面前。
上了岸，我看到一堆炭火。
炭火。
上一次我坐在炭火旁边，是在大祭司的院子里。就是在那堆炭火旁边，我三次说"我不认识那个人"。
祂不是随意生的火。祂特意用炭火，把我带回那个跌倒的现场。 不是为了羞辱我，是为了医治我。因为真正的恢复不是假装跌倒没有发生过，而是回到你跌倒的地方，在那里重新站起来。
吃完了早饭，祂看着我，问了第一个问题：
"约翰的儿子西门，你爱我比这些更深吗？"
弟兄姐妹，祂没有叫我"彼得"。祂叫我"约翰的儿子西门"，我的旧名字，那个还没有被呼召、还没有被赐名"磐石"之前的名字。好像在说：我们回到起点，重新来过。
我说："主阿，是的，你知道我爱你。"
可我不敢再用那个大胆的"爱"字了。在希腊文里，祂问的是agape，那种完全的、舍己的、至死不渝的爱。我回答的是phileo，朋友的爱、真诚却有限的爱。因为我已经不敢夸口了。那个说"我就是跟你一起死也不会不认你"的人，连在一个使女面前都站不住。
祂说："你喂养我的小羊。"
第二次，祂又问："约翰的儿子西门，你爱我吗？"
我说："主阿，是的，你知道我爱你。"
祂说："你牧养我的羊。"
第三次，祂问："约翰的儿子西门，你爱我吗？"
第三次。
经文说"彼得因为耶稣第三次对他说'你爱我吗'，就忧愁"。
我忧愁，不是因为祂烦我。我忧愁，是因为我知道为什么是三次，三次不认，三次恢复。 每一次提问，都在拆除一次否认。祂在一层一层地把那个夜晚的咒诅从我身上剥下来。
我流着泪说："主阿，你是无所不知的，你知道我爱你。"
我不再为自己辩护，不再夸口，不再承诺。我只能说：你知道。你知道我的软弱，你知道我的失败，你知道我所有的眼泪和羞耻，但你也知道，在这一切的底下，我爱你。 哪怕是这么小的、这么残破的爱，你都知道。
祂说："你喂养我的羊。"
弟兄姐妹，你们听到了吗？祂没有说"好吧，我原谅你了，但你以后靠边站"。祂没有降职我、边缘化我、给我安排一个不重要的岗位。祂把最重要的使命交给了我：牧养祂的羊群。
这就是恩典。恩典不只是赦免你的过去，恩典是重新赋予你未来。
致每一个跌倒过的人
弟兄姐妹，我写这封信的时候，手在发抖。不是因为年老，是因为每次回想那个夜晚和那个清晨，我都会哭。
那个夜晚是我生命中最黑暗的时刻。但那个清晨是我生命中最光明的时刻。
如果你此刻正被自己的失败压得喘不过气来，如果你觉得自己说过的话、做过的事、背叛过的信任，让你不配再被主使用，
请你听我说： 我，彼得，三次在众人面前发咒起誓说不认识耶稣。我看见祂的眼神，跑出去痛哭。我以为一切都完了。
但祂在海边为我生了一堆炭火。祂亲手做了早饭。祂三次问我"你爱我吗"，不是为了定罪，是为了释放。
后来，那个三次不认主的人，在五旬节站在耶路撒冷的街头，放胆讲道，三千人归主。不是因为我变得刚强了，是因为我终于不再靠自己的刚强了。
跌倒不是故事的结局。鸡叫不是最后的声音。炭火旁的否认不是最后的画面。
最后的画面，是另一堆炭火，提比哩亚海边，晨光里，复活的主亲手为我烤鱼，看着我的眼睛，温柔地问：
"你爱我吗？"
这个问题不只是问我的。今天，此刻，祂也在问你。
不管你跌倒了多少次，不管你的否认有多深，祂的恢复永远比你的跌倒更深。 祂的炭火永远在那里，等着你回来。
你只需要回答一句话："主阿，你知道我爱你。"
"你回头以后，要坚固你的弟兄。"（路加福音 22:32）
愿恩惠、平安多多地加给你们，你的弟兄，彼得
English
Lord, Even If All Fall Away, I Never Will
That night at the Passover supper, I said something I would regret for the rest of my life.
"Peter answered and said unto him, Though all men shall be offended because of thee, yet will I never be offended." (Matt 26:33)
I meant it when I said it. I had followed Him for three years. I watched Him calm the storm. I watched Him call Lazarus out of the tomb. I saw His glory on the Mount of Transfiguration. I was the first to confess Him as the Christ, the Son of the living God (Matt 16:16). I thought I was stronger than the others. More faithful.
Jesus looked at me and said, "Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times."
I insisted more vehemently, "But he spake the more vehemently, If I should die with thee, I will not deny thee in any wise. Likewise also said they all." (Mark 14:31)
Brothers and sisters, when a man is most certain he will never fall, he is closest to falling.
Sleeping in Gethsemane
Jesus took me, James, and John into the Garden of Gethsemane. He said, "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death."
He asked us to do just one thing: stay awake and pray with Him.
I couldn't even do that.
Three times He came back to find us sleeping. Three times. The man who said "I will die with you" couldn't stay awake for one hour of prayer.
"And he cometh, and findeth them sleeping, and saith unto Peter, Simon, sleepest thou? couldest not thou watch one hour? Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak." (Mark 14:37-38)
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak , the most accurate description of my entire life.
The Charcoal Fire in the Courtyard
They arrested Jesus. I followed at a distance and entered the courtyard of the high priest.
There was a charcoal fire in the middle of the courtyard. I squeezed in to warm myself, hoping to blend into the crowd.
The first time, a servant girl looked at me: "You also were with Jesus the Galilean."
I do not know what you are talking about.
The second time, another servant girl recognized me: "This man was with Jesus of Nazareth."
I do not know the man.
The third time, bystanders said: "Your accent betrays you. You are one of them."
I do not know the man! I even began to invoke a curse on myself.
Brothers and sisters, did you hear that? I swore an oath that I did not know Him , the One who called me by the Sea of Galilee, who held my hand as I walked on water, who said to me, "You are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church."
The Rooster Crowed
At that very moment, the rooster crowed.
At the same instant, the Lord turned and looked at me.
That look.
It was not an "I told you so" look. Not disappointment. Not anger.
It was a deep, quiet, sorrowful love. As if to say: "Peter, I know. But I still love you. I already prayed for you."
Because at supper He had told me: "And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren." (Luke 22:31-32)
He did not say "if you turn back." He said "when you have turned again."
He prayed for my restoration before I even fell.
I went out and wept bitterly.
By the Sea of Tiberias
After His resurrection, I did not know how to face Him. So I did the only thing I knew , I went back to fishing.
That night we caught nothing. As dawn broke, a figure stood on the shore and called out: "Children, do you have any fish?" We said no. He said, "Cast the net on the right side of the boat." We did , and the net was so full we could not haul it in.
John recognized Him first: "It is the Lord!"
The moment I heard those words, I put on my outer garment and threw myself into the sea, swimming toward shore. Brothers and sisters, did you hear that? I did not run away. I swam toward Him. I did not know what He would say to me , rebuke or forgiveness , but I could not help running to Him. That is what love does: even when you are covered in shame, you cannot stay away.
When I reached the shore, I saw a charcoal fire.
A charcoal fire.
The last time I sat beside a charcoal fire was in the courtyard of the high priest. Beside that fire, I said three times, "I do not know the man."
He did not build just any fire. He deliberately used a charcoal fire to bring me back to the scene of my fall. Not to humiliate me, but to heal me. Because true restoration does not pretend the fall never happened , it takes you back to where you fell, and lets you stand up again right there.
After breakfast, He looked at me and asked the first question:
"Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?"
Brothers and sisters, He did not call me "Peter." He called me "Simon, son of John" , my old name, the name before I was called, before I was named "the Rock." As if to say: let us go back to the beginning and start over.
I said, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you."
But I no longer dared to use that bold word for love. In Greek, He asked with agape , total, self-sacrificing, unwavering love. I answered with phileo , the love of a friend, sincere but limited. Because I could no longer boast. The man who said "I will die with you" could not even stand firm before a servant girl.
He said, "Feed my lambs."
A second time He asked: "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"
I said, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you."
He said, "Tend my sheep."
A third time He asked: "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"
The third time.
Scripture says "Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, 'Do you love me?'"
I was grieved not because He was pestering me. I was grieved because I knew why it was three times , three denials, three restorations. Each question dismantled one denial. He was peeling away the curse of that night, layer by layer, from my soul.
Through tears I said: "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you."
I no longer defended myself, no longer boasted, no longer made promises. All I could say was: You know. You know my weakness, you know my failure, you know all my tears and shame , but you also know that beneath it all, I love you. Even this small, broken love , you know it.
He said, "Feed my sheep."
Brothers and sisters, did you hear? He did not say, "Fine, I forgive you, but step aside from now on." He did not demote me, marginalize me, or assign me some minor role. He entrusted me with His most important mission : to shepherd His flock.
This is grace. Grace does not merely forgive your past. Grace gives you back your future.
To Everyone Who Has Fallen
Brothers and sisters, my hand trembles as I write this letter. Not from age , but because every time I remember that night and that morning, I weep.
That night was the darkest moment of my life. But that morning was the brightest.
If you are crushed by your own failure right now , if the words you have spoken, the things you have done, the trust you have betrayed make you feel unworthy of ever being used by the Lord again ,
Hear me: I, Peter, swore with curses three times before witnesses that I did not know Jesus. I saw His eyes, ran out, and wept bitterly. I thought it was all over.
But He built a charcoal fire for me on the shore. He cooked breakfast with His own hands. He asked me three times, "Do you love me?" , not to condemn, but to set me free.
Later, the man who denied the Lord three times stood in the streets of Jerusalem at Pentecost and preached boldly, and three thousand souls were saved. Not because I had become strong , but because I had finally stopped relying on my own strength.
Falling is not the end of the story. The rooster's crow is not the final sound. The denial by the charcoal fire is not the final scene.
The final scene is another charcoal fire , by the Sea of Tiberias, in the morning light, the risen Lord grilling fish for me with His own hands, looking into my eyes, and gently asking:
"Do you love me?"
That question was not only for me. Today, right now, He is asking you too.
No matter how many times you have fallen, no matter how deep your denial , His restoration is always deeper than your fall. His charcoal fire is always there, waiting for you to come home.
You need only answer one thing: "Lord, you know that I love you."
"But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren." (Luke 22:32)
May grace and peace be multiplied to you , your brother, Peter
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